new beginning? teach me how...

counselling. been through so much of it recently. from so many people. bout the same issue..i know all of you care and i greatly appreciate it. but sometimes i really start to doubt myself that i really want to put down. i noe i have to. but it's not as easy to do.

never had i felt such rejection and pain. nvm. i've said this. and saying this doesnt help anything. jus confirm myself that wad i always said is not untrue. forget it. i don regret it.

this week has been tiring. lethargy jus overwhelms me. training. block tests. results. everything. cant help but think i have a phobia of IT already. not that i don want it. i think i'm tired already. the fear of wavering faith. the fear of abandon. the guit of severing. i don like it anymore. give me time pls. don ask me to sink into this again. not now. pls. i really dont want it. i only want to go back. forget it. it cant happen.

i asked you already and like i guessed, you din answer. perhaps you dont know how, perhaps you dont know how to put it across. perhaps. it's jus too hurtful to bear. i duno. i jus wish you wad you want. jiayou. don give up. everyone's behind you de.

at least i know i'll be.